


Hellfire

by what_in_the



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Fire, Help, How do I tag?, Just like one passing thought), Kinda, M/M, Mentions of alcohol, Mountain Dew Red, What else is new, Yandere, arson(sorta), mentions of rape (but not really, michael is still closeted, squip is an ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-18 17:51:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17585510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/what_in_the/pseuds/what_in_the
Summary: You shouldn’t mix alcohol and feelings, as Jeremy learns the hard way. Can Michael and Rich survive the effects?





	1. The spark

**Author's Note:**

> This work was heavily inspired by the cover of hellfire by Jonathan young

Jeremy knew he shouldn't have gone out drinking. To be fair, he hadn't actually gone out to drink, but when Jake had offered him that first cup of beer he hadn't refused. From there, it was only a matter of time before one became two which became seven.

He was severely smashed. It was a miracle he even managed to start on his way home, his drunken brain not thinking to call Michael or one of their other, infinitely more sober friends. Which was odd, because Michael was all he could think about at that moment.

Jeremy had been thinking about Michael a lot. He had been feeling weird about his friend because Michael had been actually befriending the rest of the group, spending time with them. Jeremy wasn't sure how to deal with the fact that he wasn't the only person in Michael’s world anymore. Sure, he wanted his friend to be happy, but it seemed almost like Michael was becoming happier without him. It stung as bad as any outright rejection.

It didn't help the fact that Jeremy had finally acknowledged his massive crush on the boy.

It had taken a while, and a few failed dates with Christine, for Jeremy to realise he had very strong feelings for Michael. Feelings which definitely went beyond friendship. Feelings which didn't seem to be reciprocated.

Feelings mixed with alcohol were never a good thing.

Which is how Jeremy found himself leaning against the wall of a 7/11 at 10 o’clock at night, puking his guts up as he cried his heart out. Michael didn't want him. Michael would never want him. Michael wasn't even gay, was he? If he was, he hadn't told Jeremy. He had probably told Rich, who seemed to be Michael’s best friend these days.

Jeremy missed the times when he could claim that title.

Fucking Rich.

Normally Jeremy liked Rich, he was fun to be around and was actually very sweet and understanding now that the SQUIP had been removed from his head. He was one of Jeremy’s best friends besides Michael. But right now, with alcohol coursing through his blood and pain running through his head, Jeremy could only conjure up negative thoughts about the short boy.

‘He's taking Michael away from you. It's his fault…’ a quiet, glitchy voice whispered in his mind. Alcohol didn't quieten the SQUIP anymore, only Mountain Dew Red would give him a break, so Jeremy wasn't too surprised when the thing piped up. It wasn't so unusual anymore, even if it normally didn't manage to do much besides get Jeremy to guzzle a lot of Red.

Except this time it's whispers were perfectly in line with his own thoughts. For the first time, it wasn’t pushing the idea of Jeremy liking Michael away with disgust. This time, it seemed to be pushing Jeremy towards Michael.

Jeremy couldn't help it. He listened.

‘Michael is supposed to be yours, and Rich is taking him away,’ it hissed, voice thick with static. ‘You already know Rich is bi, he's trying to seduce your Michael.’

“He’s mine.” Jeremy murmured angrily, agreeing with the SQUIP wholeheartedly. It was making perfect sense to his addled brain, Rich had obviously wanted Michael for himself so he was pulling Michael away from Jeremy, his biggest threat. Jeremy kept listening, forgetting why the SQUIP was dangerous while stuck in his alcohol induced state.

‘If you turn me back on, drink some normal Mountain Dew, I’ll help you get Michael all for yourself. He won't be able to resist you and he'll forget all about Rich, I promise.’

That sounded like a great idea, actually. Jeremy could finally win over Michael and Rich would be out of the picture. It could be just the two of them again, not needing anyone else. Why hand’t he thought of asking the SQUIP before? It had brilliant ideas.

Stumbling his way into the 7/11, Jeremy somehow managed to buy himself a bottle of Mountain Dew without humiliating himself too much. The cashier knew for sure that he was drunk, but beyond a quick, surprised glance, she didn't do anything. Probably used to this sort of thing anyway.

Jeremy decided that drinking it would be best done at home. His dad was away for a few days on a business trip, and if it was anything like last time, Jeremy really didn't want to be making a scene. It was supposed to be a secret if he reactivated, he didn't want Michael to get upset.

That thought made Jeremy pause.

Michael would get upset if Jeremy turned it back on. He would be disappointed and maybe would never talk to Jeremy again! A phantom shock ran though his body, and Jeremy was instantly jolted from his thoughts. It wasn't painful, but it was a memory of pain. The SQUIP instantly soothed him.

‘It's okay, Jeremy. I'll make sure he doesn't know, I just want to help you. My prime directive is to help you achieve your goals, nothing more. You want Michael and don't want him to know? That's what I'll do.’ Jeremy relaxed and finally managed to let himself into his house.

Jeremy was laying in hid bed when he took a mouthful of the Mountain Dew. He had actually forgotten how much he enjoyed the green drink, it used to be one of his favourites. Maybe now he was reactivating his SQUIP he could drink more of it.

The pain was less intense than last time. It still wracked his body with painful shocks and spasms, but Jeremy didn't scream. He had experienced a lot worse during his time when he was first SQUIPed. It wouldn't be like that this time around, though. He wasn't aiming for popularity or for someone who was almost a total stranger, all Jeremy wanted was his best friend to love him. He shouldn't need to change himself too much.

The pain faded and Jeremy was once again faced with the ‘physical’ form of his SQUIP. Except it wasn't just Keanu Reeves, well it was but it looked so different now.

The suit it insisted on wearing was torn and tattered, and it’s hair was long and messy. Red liquid dripped from its eyes and mouth, and was splattered all over its clothes, looking a hell of a lot like blood. It’s breathing was ragged, as though it had been the one who had been in pain only moments ago. It looked like some sort of horror movie character, and Jeremy felt an instant feeling of revulsion.

Dread began pooling in Jeremy’s stomach. The SQUIP looked scary, and suddenly every reason why he turned it off came rushing back. The lack of control, it's desire for power, the fact that it hated Michael. And as those memories blossomed again, so did the sparks, changing his brain. He could feel his perceptions shifting, his mind moulding around the corrupted SQUIP.

Maybe this wasn't a good idea after all.

“Thank you, Jeremy. Now, let's get you sobered up and get to work.” It hissed, and Jeremy blacked out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy wakes up.

When Jeremy woke up once again, he was staring at his phone. There was a small text conversation between him and Michael. Reading through it, he found his anger and frustration growing. Michael had blown him off to hang out with Rich.

Well, that wouldn't do, would it?

The SQUIP hovered over his shoulder, gently directing him to Rich’s house. Jeremy didn't need the guidance, he had been there plenty of times. He was wondering to himself why he had never taken those opportunities to ward ofF Rich, to scare him away from Michael. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Jeremy heard a small voice reminding him that Rich was his friend.

He ignored it.

Rich was the one trying to take Micheal away from Jeremy, trying to seduce him so he'd forget his best friend. Jeremy wasn't going to let that happen. And so Rich was the enemy. Enemies had to be dealt with.

As he walked, confident and full of purpose, he let his thoughts drift to Michael. He trusted the SQUIP to ensure he didn't get hurt or stray off course.

In Jeremy’s opinion, Michael was the most beautiful person to walk this Earth. He was like an angel, beautiful and kind and pure, sent to walk among mortals. Yet Jeremy knew that Michael was far from innocent. The way he moved while he danced, the way his lips would shape itself around words, the way he would tease Jeremy right to the edge of his self control. It was downright sinful.

He felt a spark go off in his mind and Jeremy understood. Michael wasn't pure at all. He was a temptation which Jeremy was more than eager to indulge himself in. He had never considered himself a religious person, and certainly not a believer in heaven or hell, but Michael fit the bill perfectly to be an agent of the devil. Beautiful and seductive and oh so tempting,

That small voice he had chosen to ignore said that he was being stupid, and that he really didn't believe in that sort of stuff. It said that Michael was never doing that stuff to him, he had never felt these feelings in this way. That while he liked Michael a lot, he never saw Michael in that way, as an object or a test. Michael was his best friend.

Jeremy blocked out the voice again. It didn't know what it was talking about.

The SQUIP approved of Jeremy’s thoughts, as well as his suppression of that annoying voice which sounded so much like his own, and made its approval known in that gravelly, raw voice it had now.

“Michael is supposed to be yours, Jeremy. And if you can't have him then no one else should either. You're the only one who could handle him.” It hissed, and Jeremy couldn't help but agree. Michael was like a small flame, needing constant attention and love to keep burning but could easily burn out of control if left unchecked. Jeremy knew Michael best. He would be the only one who could begin to predict how Michael might react to any given situation.

Jeremy wondered if he could have realised this without the SQUIP. It really was doing its job well already. Why would he ever want to deactivate it?

Finally, Jeremy reached Rich’s house. It didn't take very long for him to locate the window to the living room, where Michael and Rich were sitting together playing a game and chatting. Michael looked so happy, and for a moment Jeremy felt himself start. What was he doing? Michael was happy, he shouldn't want to destroy that, right?

Then Michael grinned over at Rich, shoving him lightly with a small blush on his cheeks and Jeremy remembered his purpose. Michael should only look at him that way. Rich was a problem that he had to eliminate. The SQUIP murmured it's agreement and began steering Jeremy towards the shed in the back yard.

Jeremy grinned, feeling suddenly excited, as he pulled out a can of gasoline. If Rich liked fire so much, playing with Jeremy’s little flame, then he should love this. And if Michael wouldn't choose Jeremy then he would burn too.

The back door was unlocked.

It didn't take him long to set the fire, and even less time for the house to catch. The flames rushed thought the house, the boys in the living room blissfully unaware.

Jeremy decided to watch the show from the front. It would be the best place to see if anyone made it out, and then he could tell Michael his feelings. Surely Michael would leave Rich there, would come straight to Jeremy. The SQUIP agreed and Jeremy let out a sigh of relief. He didn't want to go against his helper.

It took less than five minutes. Five minutes of burning and suddenly Michael came rushing out. Jeremy was ready to embrace him, but then he saw Michael was carrying a panicked looking Rich. Any joy he felt upon seeing his friend instantly went up in flames along with the house. Michael sent Rich down gently the moment he saw Jeremy.

“Jeremy? What are you doing here, what’s going on? Did you see who set the fire?” Michael’s voice was a little hoarse, probably from panic and smoke inhalation. Jeremy only smiled, opening his arms invitingly.

“I just thought that since Rich likes playing with fire so much, I would assist him in getting lost in his passion.” The SQUIP helped with his words, Jeremy was too struck with how beautiful Michael looked in the firelight.

“What th- what the hell man! You could have killed us! And what the fuck do you mean ‘playing with fire’?” Michael sounded angry, which made no sense. Jeremy was simply making sure that he and Michael could be together together with no distractions.

“I mean I'm making sure he stays away from what is mine.” He growled, roughly grabbing Michael’s arm and yanking him closer. Michael let out a surprised yelp, panic flashing across his features. Jeremy barely noticed Rich approaching, he was too focused on the fact that Michael was so close.

“Wha- Jeremy?” Michael whined pathetically, sounding confused and slightly scared. He had no reason to be, so long as he chose Jeremy, Jeremy wouldn't have to hurt him. Michael belonged to Jeremy.

That small voice was screaming at him now. No no no no no! Michael didn't belong to Jeremy! Michael was his own person! It hurt, and Jeremy flinched a little at the volume and how much sense it was making. His grip loosened a little before the SQUIP began whispering and he held on tighter.

“Michael will be yours or he will be a danger to others. You can't let him go, Jeremy.” It reminded him. Jeremy looked at it for the briefest second before returning his attention on Michael.

He looked scared and worried, eyes searching Jeremy’s face, trying to figure out what was going on. Jeremy raised his free hand to gently cup Michael’s cheek and smiled happily as Michael seemed to subconsciously lean into it.

“You're mine, love. Rich wants to take you from me, but I won't let him.” Jeremy placed a gentle kiss on Michael’s forehead, and the boy let out a small squeak of embarrassment. That's all that sound could be, right?

Suddenly, Jeremy became very aware of Rich. This was because he had started screaming and was stumbling backwards. Idly, Jeremy wondered if it was too late to throw him back into the fire.

“It's back. It's back. Oh god, Michael, his SQUIP is back on!” Rich howled, eyes wide with fear and panic. Michael stiffened in Jeremy's grip, but didn't try to pull away. Jeremy growled again, a low, animalistic sound. Michael wasn't supposed to know. Rich had just ruined everything.

The SQUIP cackled a little.

“Don't worry. Michael will still be all yours, Jeremy, then we can make sure everyone else stays away. If we reactivate all the SQUIPs again then I'll make sure that Michael will have no choice, because no one else will want him, and they'll all do whatever you want.” There was a manic sort of pleasure in that thought. Michael being just Jeremy’s and everyone else following his orders. Michael wouldn't be able to leave Jeremy. Everyone else would ensure it.

Jeremy was ripped from his thoughts by Michael ripping his arm away, fear written plainly on his face and in every movement.

For a second, Jeremy was confused. Why would Michael pull away? Didn’t he want them to be together? That moment was all the time Michael needed to scoop up Rich into a bridal carry and sprint off, surprisingly fast for a gamer. As he followed, Jeremy remembered that Michael had been occasionally working out now with Rich and Jake. That's someone else he’s need to deal with, thinking about it. Rich was still his priority though. He was the one Michael liked best.

The sound of sirens echoed behind him as Jeremy pursued his love. Still, reawakening his SQUIP and the alcohol from earlier, though it had long burned off, Jeremy was feeling physically weak. He wasn't in the best shape either. After a couple of minutes, he lost sight of Michael and Rich.

Cursing, Jeremy slowed down to a stop. There was no way he could catch up to them, not without knowing where they were going.

“He’s probably taking Rich back to his home. You need to hurry, Jeremy, or you’ll lose Michael.” His SQUIP hissed. Jeremy nodded, and quickly adjusted his course towards Michael’s house. He also decided that he would stop by the 7/11 again, much to the SQUIP’s pleasure.

Rich’s SQUIP would be able to keep the boy away from Michael.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael is... submitting to Jeremy?

Jeremy was just leaving the 7/11, with another couple of bottles of Mountain Dew, when he got a text. Michael’s custom ringtone began buzzing from his back pocket and after a little bit of fumbling, Jeremy managed check it.

 

Player 1:

call me when you get this

I want to talk to you

about us

 

Jeremy felt his insides squirm with glee. Michael seemed to be coming around and he was ready to talk.

He didn't even need the SQUIP’s prompting to press the call button.

“Hey Jere.” Michael answered, sounding happy and relieved.

“Michael.” Jeremy breathed, his mind going a little fuzzy again. Even the small voice seemed to be quiet at that moment, listening intently.

“I'm sorry for running off earlier, I just got a little scared by the fire. I left Rich over at Jake’s house so we can talk, just us.” Michael’s voice was apologetic and hopeful. Jeremy grinned, letting the static in his brain fizz on.

“It's alright love, I should have trusted you to not leave me for him. Can I see you? I want to talk about this properly, I want to hold you.” The SQUIP guided his words while his higher brain functions fizzled out. Michael was just too perfect, sounding so sweet and innocent, even if he was anything but. He did feel a little annoyance at the fact that he would have to hunt Rich down later, but talking to Michael was much more important.

“I would really like that, Jeremy. Come over to mine? I'll be waiting outside for you. See you soon!” Michael cooed flirty, hanging up the call. Oh that tease, leaving Jeremy hanging like that. Still, he was really close to Michael’s house, he could be there in less than five minutes.

When he arrived, Michael was waiting outside as promised. He was standing there, looking thoughtful. Jeremy took a moment, while he was not being watched, to really look at Michael,

He wasn't wearing his usual hoodie, instead he wore a white and grey shirt which clung beautifully. It looked a little singed, but otherwise seemed fine. He was wearing his favourite jeans and trainers.

Michael wasn't small in any sense of the word. He was tall and solidly built, maybe a little closer to chubby than most would like but Jeremy found him perfectly alluring. He wanted to make sure Michael loved every stretch mark.

Michael’s hair was dark and looked nicely ruffled from his run and from the warm breeze blowing around. His skin was a mocha expanse, smooth and soft, and Jeremy wanted to run his fingers all over him. His eyes were sweet and golden, like honey.

Michael turned and spotted Jeremy. He started a little, then smiled warmly and wandered over almost shyly.

“You came.” He murmured, allowing Jeremy to pull him close. Michael snuggled into Jeremy’s chest, sighing happily as Jeremy wrapped his arms over his back. Jeremy felt that fuzzy static in his brain again, and he could feel the SQUIP’s satisfaction. He was doing well.

“Of course it did, Micah. I wouldn't leave you alone, you're mine. That's why I had to do that to Rich’s house, he wanted to take you from me.” Jeremy explained gently, running his fingers lightly through Michael’s hair. The boy shook his head, turning those golden eyes up at Jeremy.

“He was helping me,” Michael countered, voice quiet. Jeremy growled but didn't say a word. Michael shouldn't need help from anyone but him! “He was helping me plan how to ask you out.” Michael added a little louder.

Jeremy’s brain shorted out for a moment, even that small voice was shocked. Michael really did want him. He was going to be Jeremy’s willingly, no force required. The SQUIP didn't seem happy for some reason but for the first time that night, Jeremy ignored it. Instead he ducked his head, pressing a kiss to Michael’s perfect mouth.

The boy froze for a second before melting into it. He sighed happily, letting Jeremy hold him tight. Then he pulled away, taking Jeremy’s hand and pulling him towards the house.

“I want you to make me yours, but not out here. Come upstairs with me?” He asked coyly, swaying his hips as he walked. The SQUIP tried to tell him something, but Jeremy couldn't hear over the pounding of blood in his head. Was Michael seducing him? Didn't he realise that Jeremy was already thoroughly smitten?

He nodded eagerly and quickly followed Michael through the house. The small voice paused before finally urging him on. The SQUIP looked suspicious, but Jeremy was too caught up in Michael’s movements to really notice.

Finally making their way to Michael’s bedroom, Jeremy was instantly pushed on to the bed. Michael spun around and Jeremy chuckled, appreciations the view as Michael worked up some courage. He knew they were moving fast, so he respected Michael’s nerves, but this was the best way to properly make Michael his. And Michael was the one who suggested it anyways.

Finally, Michael turned around and climbed on to the bed, hovering over Jeremy’s prone form. He leant down and presses his lips to Jeremy’s, the kiss sweet and chaste. Jeremy groaned and pulled Michael closer, deepening the kiss.

He ran his tongue along the seam of Michael’s lips. It tasted sweet and something inside him stirred. The SQUIP let out a panicked screech but it was too late. Michael gave him entrance and let the Mountain Dew Red flow into Jeremy's mouth, who swallowed on reflex.

Michael pulled back, half throwing himself off the bed. His expression was serious and focused but tears quickly started falling.

Realising the betrayal, Jermey swung himself up, ready to grab at Michael. Then his head snapped down and he couldn't move. His body froze, not responding. The pain burned through him, ripping his nerves to shreds. He had forgotten how intense the feeling was. It was worse than the start up by a long shot.

Jeremy had a split second where he could move. His instant reaction was to look at Michael, who was openly sobbing now but still kept his distance. Then Jeremy collapsed and he blacked out once again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy wakes and has to face his greatest tormentor... himself.

Memories resolved themselves in a blur behind Jeremy’s closed eyes. The alcohol. The Mountain Dew. The fire. Michael.

Oh god, what had he done?

Now Jeremy could finally see just how horrible he had been. He had tried to kill Rich. He had threatened him and literally tried to kill him by burning down his house.

And Michael, oh god, he had been so terrible to him. He had been treating Michael like a prize, like an object. He hadn't even cared about what Michael had wanted, he just was driven to that crazy level of obsession where he thought Michael had wanted him too.

And when Michael had asked him to go upstairs… had Jeremy almost raped his best friend?!

He couldn't help the whimper that escaped his lips with that. Jeremy had almost forced himself on Michael, just because he thought it justified. He wouldn't be surprised if Michael never wanted to speak to him again after that, let alone be in the same room with him. Jeremy had let his stupid crush blow so far out of proportion that he was going to lose the person he loved most.

Jeremy wanted to disappear. He wanted to fade out of existence and never return. He didn't deserve to return. So when he heard voices talking nearby, he chose not to open his eyes. He tried his best to vanish instead.

“He’s waking up. Thank god, I was so worried it would kill him this time.” One voice gasped, Michael by the sound of it. Why would he be worried about Jeremy after everything he did?

“Well our plan worked, and now we know the Red still works even after initial shut down.” The other voice agreed. Rich sounded relieved and not at all bitter, surprisingly. Which was really surprising because Jeremy had literally tried to burn down his house. “Your acting was kinda shit by the way, you were way too submissive.”

Jeremy heard a faux offended gasp and could imagine the face that Michael had pulled. He wanted to sit up and laugh at the image but he felt too shit physically and too broken emotionally to do much more than a small twitch of his eyelids. Besides, he didn't deserve to be enjoying Michael’s jokes.

“How dare you say such a thing, Richard! I played my part perfectly. His brain was full on yandere mode which meant he needed a submissive, willing senpai.” Rich cackled at that a little, and Jeremy knew that Michael was pulling the anime eyes out. He always did that to make people laugh, making his eyes look big and soft. The tone shifted and Jeremy could feel their gaze on him again. “How much of that do you think was him?” Michael half whispered, as though too scared to say it.

None of it, he wanted to scream, none of that was me! Jeremy never wanted to hurt anyone, he never wanted to hurt Rich. Rich was his friend, one of his best friends, and confidant. Jeremy might have been a little jealous but he never wanted Rich gone!

And as for Michael, the jealousy was there no doubt, but none of the creepy stuff! He was happy with Michael in his life, regardless of what their relationship was. He wanted Michael happy and safe and loved. Even if it wasn't because of him.

Looking over his actions, Jeremy realised how creepy he had been. His movements had been twitchy and wrong, like he himself was glitching as much as his SQUIP, and gestures which were supposed to be sweet or inviting were harsh and weird. Yeah, no chance Michael would want to be near him now.

“I don't think too much was him, you saw how he behaved. I think the SQUIP broke when it got reactivated and rewrote his thought process.” Rich sounded sure of his conclusion, and while it was true, Jeremy was surprised. Why defend his actions? He had turned the SQUIP back on willingly after all.

“Yeah, but you know that's not what I meant.” Michael sounded annoyed. Good, he deserved to be after everything he’d been through, even if it wasn't directed at Jeremy.

“It's like I told you earlier dude, SQUIPs can rewrite thoughts and memories, but they can only enhance or suppress emotions. There's only so much that those could have been faked.” Rich’s tone was calm, reassuring, even as his lisp became more prominent. That only happened when he was uncomfortable or nervous.

Apparently Jeremy’s body decided that now was the time he would be thrust back into control, because Jeremy suddenly shot up with a yelp, panting as he sat up in the bed. His two bedside companions were next to him in an instant as Jeremy noticed that he was still in Michael’s bed.

“Woah, take it easy, Jere. It's okay, you're safe.” Michael’s soothing words helped for a split second before Jeremy forced himself to remember what he had done. Instead of saying anything, he dove under the covers with a small squeak, hiding himself.

“You alright there, tall ass? You still you?” Rich asked, chuckling slightly when Jeremy heard the small smack to his left. Michael must have hit him.

Jeremy nodded slowly, peaking out from his safe, comfortable fort to look at the two properly. He needed to protect them from himself, even if he was in his right mind again. Tears prickled in his eyes as he finally managed to speak.

“I'm so sorry,” was all that came out, “I'm sorry, I'm sorry.” Just over and over again, repeating and apologising and crying because he really was the worst. Jeremy knew he must sound like a broken record, but it didn't matter. There was no way he could ever atone for his behaviour.

A gentle hand in his hair cut him off, and feeling his own hand scooped up into a larger, warmer one calmed his tears. Jeremy couldn't help but lean into the gentle feelings, too overwhelmed to really consider who was doing it. It felt nice, so his wanted more, even if he didn't deserve it.

“Hey hey hey, it's okay now Jere Bear, it wasn't your fault. Your SQUIP messed with your mind, you weren't thinking clearly.” Michael’s sweet voice set off a fresh wave of tears. He shouldn't even be allowed near Michael, let alone be comforted by him!

“It's not okay though, was so horrible to you and to Rich,” he turned his head, looking at Rich though his tears. “I'm so sorry. I tried to burn down your house and I was just so _horrible_ to you.” It wasn't even close to enough to cover what he did, but it was a start.

“It wasn't you, dude. That was the SQUIP. Besides, the house is fine, just a little barbecued.” Rich waved it off but Jeremy shook his head.

“It might have pushed me but it's like you said, the feelings must have been there,” Jeremy curled up in on himself again, hiding his face. “I'm a horrible human being, I don't know why you guys helped me.”

Both boys instantly denied it, but Jeremy had finally realised it, he was terrible. The SQUIP has been right about that from the start.

Michael sighed, letting out a small, angry huff. Them the hand still gently petting Jeremy's hair suddenly curled into a fist and his head was yanked up. Jeremy let out a small yelp, but instantly lifted his head to look at Michael. Those golden eyes were hard as they stared directly into Jeremy's soul. He whimpered in fear, tears glistening in eyes wide.

“Are you telling me that you want to kill Rich? That you want to make me your what, your fuck pet? That you don't care about what anyone else wants?” He scowled, arching an eyebrow. Jeremy waved his hands, shaking his head slightly. He didn't dare move too much for fear of ripping his hair out.

“No! I don't want any of that!” Everyone winced slightly at the volume. Dropping the angry facade, Michael released Jeremy’s hair and offered a tired grin. The hand ran softly though it again, soothing the sting on his scalp.

“Then stop lying to yourself so you feel justified. Some of it might be from in the moment emotions, but it's not who you are,” Michael shook his head sadly, “for someone so smart, you're pretty stupid sometimes, Jere.”

Michael sat back, eyeing Jeremy carefully. Jeremy felt the shame crawl back up his spine but didn't shrink away this time. Rich was watching on fascinated and slightly scared. He had obviously bought Michael’s angry routine, just as Jeremy always did.

“And you said I couldn't act, Richard.” Michael teased, not breaking eye contact with Jeremy. Rich scoffed and stood up.

“I stand by what I said. I'm gonna head back to Jake’s place, he wants an update for what happened. Have fun eye-fucking.” With that, Rich left the room and Jeremy could head the distant sound of the front door closing.

They were alone.

Jeremy squirmed uncomfortably but still didn't look away. He couldn't, too caught up in Michael’s golden gaze. He had always been weak against it.

“Your acting wasn't terrible, you had me convinced, or most of me anyway,” Jeremy said after a moment. He elaborated when he noticed Michael’s confusion. “With you acting in love with me or whatever. The part that was being influenced by the SQUIP really thought that you meant every word. There… was a small part of me not being controlled and it kept trying to stop me. But I didn't listen.” He trailed off, unable to excuse his behaviour.

Michael paused, looking pained but a little thoughtful. Then he finally broke their connection and looked away.

“Would you hate me if I told you I did? If I acted it up but meant every word?” His voice was soft, scared sounding. Jeremy’s mind was reeling, replaying every second he was with Michael while the SQUIP was on. Every soft look, the way Michael had melted in his arms, the way he had kissed so softly. ‘I want to be yours’ replaying over and over again in his head, murmured so sincerely that it hurt.

Jeremy ducked his head, ashamed.

“No, but I wouldn't blame you if you don't want to talk to me after this.” If there was even a chance that Michael liked him before, it was likely long gone by now. Jeremy refused to get his hopes up.

“How much of it was actually you?” Michael asked again, his voice softer and more vulnerable than Jeremy had ever heard him.

“I've liked you for a while. A lot.” Jeremy took a deep breath then continued. Michael deserved the truth. “The whole reason I reactivated was because I was jealous of Rich spending time with you. I got drunk and it convinced me that it was my best chance of having a shot with you.”

Micheal sat up straight, blinking at the confession. Then a small smile graced his face and he reached out. Slowly he laced his fingers with Jeremy’s, who looked up in confusion.

“That's some of the most seriously stupid but sort of romantic bullshit I've ever heard,” he chuckled. Jeremy cocked his head, looking at their joined hands but not pulling away.

“You actually still like me after that?”

Michael nodded, blushing.

“For the most part it was fucking creepy as hell, but the actual possessiveness thing was kinda hot.” He shrugged, grinning a little. Jeremy squeaked and felt his own blush begin to rise.

Michael suddenly pointed at Jeremy with his free hand, almost aggressively, but the effect was ruined by Michael’s grin. His eyes were serious.

“I am kinda pissed that you didn't tell me, or anyone that you were in a bad state. Next time you're struggling with something talk to someone.” Jeremy nodded in agreement. Michael pushed for a promise, to which Jeremy rolled his eyes and promised to tell someone if he was in a bad place from now on. Michael’s grin got a little wider.

He didn't let go of Jeremy’s hand.

Feeling a burst of courage, Jeremy locked eyes with Michael again.

“I’m in a bad place right now, because this is gonna bug me for ages otherwise. I'd totally understand if you say no after what happened, hell I’m expecting it, but… do you maybe wanna go out sometime?” He asked shyly. Michael smiled and nodded.

“I must be crazy, but yeah, I would.”

Jeremy looked away, grinning and blushing and finally feeling like thingswere going to be okay. He and Michael could heal from this, so could Rich, and things could end up better than before.

There was no passionate kiss, or even a hug. Both the boys were still shaken and it would take time to get past that. Jeremy was more than okay with that fact. Something even better happened in his opinion anyway.

Michael didn't let go of his hand for the rest of the night.


End file.
